


Mafs

by i_can_get_extra_with_my_fics



Series: The Not Multi Chapter Fic Shrine [58]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Connor Can't Math, Evan Can't Math, Fight me but Jared is hella good at math, Multi, he's the rare breed of gay that can math
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25822285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_can_get_extra_with_my_fics/pseuds/i_can_get_extra_with_my_fics
Summary: Evan can't math. Connor can't math. They both don't understand who the hell thought it was a good idea to let Martha Speaks fucking vomit all over math. Jared can math though. They have Jared explain how to math.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman/Connor Murphy
Series: The Not Multi Chapter Fic Shrine [58]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589902
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Mafs

Evan had been staring at a math paper for the past 20 minutes. It made absolutely no sense. And it was only the first problem. He never understood why there had to be letters in math. Math was supposed to be numbered. Who the heck dumped their alphabet soup on a math book and said "ah yes. this makes perfect sense"?

"Connie?"

Connor paused whatever he was listening to. "What's up?"

"Can you help me with this? I've been on the first problem for like too long."

Connor scooted his chair closer to Evan so he could see what the problem was. Once he saw it was math he looked at Evan like he was stupid. "Ev, honey, I'm worse at math than you are. Especially when it looks like fucking Martha Speaks fucking puked up the alphabet soup that went to he brain and lost her speaking abilities. I'm too gay for this shit."

Evan groaned. "I'm never gonna get this done am I?"

"Just ask Jared. Probably should've asked him first."

"Jared's not gonna be here for another half an hour."

Connor looked at his laptop. "Well, I have an essay that has to be grammar checked. I'm also shit at how to letter the right way."

"See that is something I'm good at."

"It's a very good thing. One question tho."

"What?"

"What the fuck is a comma?"

Evan sighed. "Reading this is going to physically hurt me isn't it?"

Connor nodded. "Most likely."

After about 25 minutes of explaining what a comma was, Evan felt like Connor seemed to understand. No one knew if he actually did though. Not even Connor knew if he was just pretending to understand or not.

Well, anyway.

Evan was explaining why one of Connor's sentences was a run on and why it wasn't grammatically correct when Jared started knocking on the door.

"Why is he knocking? He probably has a better idea of where the spare key is than my mom does." Evan was staring at the door in genuine confusion.

Connor shrugged. "I'll let him in. You just go add commas to where I fucked up."

Evan nodded and now stared at the essay with a very terrible attempt at grammar. Connor's essay pained him more than he was letting on.

Connor got up and let Jared in. "Welcome to we're fucking gay and can't math."

Evan closed Connor's laptop. Rotting his brain over letter math seemed more appealing than trying to make sense of his boyfriend's paper. "And Connor not being able to grammar and it physically injuring my soul."

Connor pretended to be offended and Jared laughed. "Seeing as you're already being scared by Connor's horrible grammar skills, I'll just have Lana read my paper."

Evan buried his face in his hands. "No. It's fine. I'll just suffer. Come help me rot my brain over math though."

"What math we doin today Handsoap?"

"Letter math."

"I love Evan but he fucking asked me to help. Me. I'm like the worst person ever at math."

Jared laughed. "Baby, what mental gymnastics did you have to do to come to the conclusion that Connor was your best bet to help? I've seen you help him with math."

"Well, you weren't here so..." Evan looked back at his paper. "Is this roast Evan hours or are ya gonna help me with the math?"

"Shit rite." Jared looked at the problem for a few seconds. "Answer's 69."

Evan looked at Jared unamused. Connor started laughing at Evan's minor rage, grateful it wasn't directed at him. "Jare, you gotta be joking right?"

Jared shook his head. "Connor I swear I'm not."

Evan still wasn't convinced. "Ya gonna actually help me or what?"

Jared sighed. "Give me the pencil." 

Evan handed the pencil to Jared. Jared grabbed a random paper off the table. "Anyone need this?" The other two boys shook their heads.

Jared wrote out the problem. "Ok so. 23 = (2x)/(6) First you multiply both sides by six. Whatever you do on one side you need to do on the other to keep it balanced. You multiply by 6 because to get rid of the six you need to do the opposite of whatever is happening to the six. You get rid of the 6 first because you need to get to just the letter."

Jared looked at his boyfriends for any traces of confusion. He couldn't pick up on anything so he continued. "Now you have 138 = 2x. You want to get the x by itself to get your final answer. Because the 2 and the x are next to each other that means multiplication. So you have to divide by two to get the x alone. You have to again, do it on both sides to keep it balanced. 138 divided by 2 is 69. That leaves you with x = 69 therefore your answer to number 1 is 69."

Connor stared at the paper in disbelief. "Holy shit it is 69."

Evan sighed. "Why is it 69? Who approved of that?" He wrote x = 69 on his paper. 

"It wasn't that hard though was it?"

Connor rested his head on Jared's shoulder. "My last 5 brain cells are in pain."

Evan leaned on Jared's other side. "So are mine. Grammar is better."

Jared looked at Evan and shook his head. "Honey, I love you but no. Grammar has too many exceptions to rules. Math can be painful but if you can learn the rules then it's easy. There are no exceptions to the rules in math."

"Well, what if instead of doing the painful stuff we just go cuddle and come back later?"

"That is something we can agree on."

Connor groaned when Jared stood up to go follow Evan to his room. "I don't wanna move."

Jared smirked. "Ev, come help me carry our stick boyfriend to the cuddle party."

Now cut to Evan and Jared awkwardly carrying Connor to Evan's room. Jared was over the whole thing by that time so he just dropped Connor on the carpet.

"Dude what the hell!?"

"Look, man. My love only goes so far. I'm not fucking hoisting you up on the bed. You can walk yourself."

Evan laughed fondly at the banter that had become commonplace when they spent time together. "Ok, but can we cuddle before school rots our brains?"

This is how Heidi came home to a bunch of random papers on her kitchen table and her son passed out cuddled with his boyfriends when she came home at like 4 am.

**Author's Note:**

> If you get the Martha Speaks reference we were both raised on PBS Kids.


End file.
